No Heartbeat

I went to my 14-week OB checkup Wednesday and the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. “”This isn’t anything to worry about, sometimes it’s just hard to find,” she said.

Today we had an ultrasound. When the picture of a tiny, but fully formed infant came on the screen, I noticed immediately the absence of a heartbeat. Maybe I’m just getting better at knowing what to look for in ultrasounds, but both ultrasounds with this pregnancy have been so amazingly clear. The ultrasound technician did a vaginal ultrasound to be sure, and we could see the tiny cavity where the heart should have been beating. The last thing she did was check the sound waves. They were flat.

The baby measures at 12.5 weeks, which is when we assume whatever caused the heart to stop beating happened.

I haven’t had any cramping or bleeding. The only sign is that my nausea has subsided, but I assumed that was because I was in my second trimester.

Monday afternoon we will meet with my doctor (she was out of town today) to discuss options, such as a DNC.

We told the girls. Sandy was concerned she or Abby had done something to cause it, she was convinced it was because they sometimes like to lay on my stomach. We assured her there was nothing they could have done that would cause this. Her next explanation was, “that baby’s spirit just wanted to go back to live with Jesus, huh, mom?” Yes, Sandy, our baby is in heaven with Jesus. Abby’s comments as we told them were “so sad.” and “You cry, mommy?” Yes, Abby, mommy cried.

I really appreciate the thoughtful, kind messages we’ve received today. I haven’t been answering my phone much or responding to all the messages we’ve received, but if you sent us some kind words, please know that we really appreciated your message.